| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Fluffy Muffdiver | 5 | -0.20 (-4.00%) | |
| D | Denny Dildo | 6 | -1.60 (-26.67%) | |
| D | Benny Beavers | 5 | -1.00 (-20.00%) | |
| D | Gaylord Focker | 5 | -1.50 (-30.00%) | |
| D | Billy Bullshit | 4 | +0.30 (7.50%) | |
| M | Johnny Potsmoker | 5 | -0.40 (-8.00%) | |
| M | Dilbert Dickgraber | 5 | -1.60 (-32.00%) | |
| S | Samuel Slutfucker | 5 | -0.90 (-18.00%) | |
| S | Calvin Cunthunter | 5 | -0.90 (-18.00%) | |
| 5.00 | -7.80 (-17.33%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| +0.10 (1.67%) | 6 | Chris Woods | K | |
 |
+2.40 (20.00%) | 12 | Chris Powell | D |
 |
+1.40 (11.67%) | 12 | Andy Hinchcliffe | D |
| +1.40 (12.73%) | 11 | Christoph Trapp | D | |
| +0.60 (6.67%) | 9 | Jonathan Woodgate | D | |
|
0.00 (0.00%) | 11 | Steve Hodge | M |
|
+1.80 (18.00%) | 10 | Scott Parker | M |
| +0.50 (6.25%) | 8 | Theo Walcott | M | |
|
+2.70 (27.00%) | 10 | Stan Collymore | S |
| +0.50 (5.00%) | 10 | Deniz Naki | S | |
| -0.20 (-4.00%) | 5 | Andy Cole | S | |
| +11.20 (10.77%) | 9.45 |