| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Roddy Woomble | 13 | +0.50 (3.85%) | |
| D | Billy Connolly | 13 | +1.40 (10.77%) | |
| D | Jon Fratelli | 13 | +1.10 (8.46%) | |
| D | Armando Iannucci | 13 | +0.70 (5.38%) | |
| D | Steve Mason | 12 | +1.50 (12.50%) | |
| M | John Gordon-Sinclair | 14 | +1.90 (13.57%) |  |
| M | Justin Currie | 14 | -0.30 (-2.14%) | |
| M | Richard Jobson | 12 | +2.10 (17.50%) | |
| S | Ewan McGregor | 13 | +1.40 (10.77%) |  |
| S | Shirley Manson | 12 | +0.30 (2.50%) | |
| S | Stuart Sutcliffe | 8 | +0.80 (10.00%) | |
| 12.45 | +11.40 (8.32%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| +2.00 (15.38%) | 13 | William Murderface | K | |
| +5.20 (37.14%) | 14 | Bro Pickles | D | |
| +0.70 (5.00%) | 14 | Skwisgaar Skwigelf | D | |
| -3.30 (-30.00%) | 11 | Jasper Bould | D | |
| -1.00 (-25.00%) | 4 | Malcolm Upson | D | |
|
+1.20 (8.00%) | 15 | Toki Wartooth | M |
| -1.40 (-9.33%) | 15 | Charles Foster Ofdensen | M | |
|
+0.30 (2.14%) | 14 | Tim Cahill | M |
| +0.50 (3.85%) | 13 | Aimo Gotti | M | |
| -0.40 (-10.00%) | 4 | Isak Stenholm | M | |
| -2.30 (-19.17%) | 12 | Keelan O Halloran | S | |
| -0.20 (-1.43%) | 14 | Doctor Rockzo | R | |
| -2.00 (-16.67%) | 12 | Gudmund Kjellman | R | |
| -0.70 (-0.45%) | 11.92 |