| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Fluffy Muffdiver | 5 | -3.70 (-74.00%) | |
| D | Denny Dildo | 6 | -2.80 (-46.67%) | |
| D | Gaylord Focker | 5 | -1.40 (-28.00%) | |
| D | Billy Bullshit | 4 | -1.70 (-42.50%) | |
| M | Freddie Fuckface | 5 | -1.50 (-30.00%) | |
| M | Johnny Potsmoker | 5 | -2.20 (-44.00%) | |
| M | Abraham Arsehole | 5 | -2.60 (-52.00%) | |
| M | Virgin Hardcock | 5 | -2.90 (-58.00%) | |
| S | Spike Sperminator | 6 | -2.30 (-38.33%) | |
| S | Samuel Slutfucker | 5 | -2.00 (-40.00%) | |
| S | Calvin Cunthunter | 5 | -2.20 (-44.00%) | |
| 5.09 | -25.30 (-45.18%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| +0.20 (4.00%) | 5 | Andrew Innes | K | |
 |
-1.00 (-10.00%) | 10 | Ted McGreal | D |
| -0.30 (-3.75%) | 8 | Scott Toe | D | |
| +1.60 (32.00%) | 5 | Shaun Ryder | D | |
| -0.50 (-16.67%) | 3 | Mark Berry | D | |
 |
+0.30 (3.33%) | 9 | Johnny MacGow | M |
|
+0.30 (3.33%) | 9 | Glen Agnew | M |
|
+0.10 (1.43%) | 7 | Paul Weller | M |
|
+1.80 (60.00%) | 3 | Graham McPherson | M |
| +0.60 (20.00%) | 3 | Karpov Orosz | M | |
|
-0.90 (-10.00%) | 9 | Neal McStone | S |
| +2.20 (3.10%) | 6.45 |