| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Fluffy Muffdiver | 8 | -0.20 (-2.50%) | |
| D | Denny Dildo | 9 | +0.60 (6.67%) | |
| D | Dick Stillhard | 9 | +0.40 (4.44%) | |
| D | Benny Beavers | 8 | +2.70 (33.75%) |   |
| D | Gaylord Focker | 8 | -2.20 (-27.50%) | |
| M | Titty McNipple | 9 | -1.40 (-15.56%) | |
| M | Dilbert Dickgraber | 8 | +1.90 (23.75%) | |
| M | Virgin Hardcock | 8 | +0.40 (5.00%) | |
| M | Abraham Arsehole | 8 | -0.30 (-3.75%) | |
| M | Johnny Potsmoker | 8 | -1.30 (-16.25%) | |
| S | Spike Sperminator | 8 | -0.20 (-2.50%) | |
| R | Samuel Slutfucker | 7 | +0.70 (10.00%) | |
| R | Freddie Fuckface | 7 | +0.60 (8.57%) | |
| 8.08 | +1.70 (1.62%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -1.50 (-18.75%) | 8 | Belmiro Felipe | K | |
|
-0.90 (-8.18%) | 11 | Felix Fortuna | D |
|
-2.30 (-32.86%) | 7 | Besim Byzhuti | D |
| -2.30 (-46.00%) | 5 | Aldo Coitinho | D | |
| -1.40 (-46.67%) | 3 | Ed Evans | D | |
|
+1.00 (10.00%) | 10 | Reginald Hedley | M |
| -1.60 (-16.00%) | 10 | Marcel Mãlai | M | |
| -0.30 (-4.29%) | 7 | Sunti Tanasugarn | M | |
|
+0.60 (15.00%) | 4 | Phillip Divine | M |
| -1.30 (-32.50%) | 4 | Acácio Cunhal | M | |
| -2.10 (-42.00%) | 5 | Alanzo Espina | S | |
| -12.10 (-16.35%) | 6.73 |