| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Gordon Banks | 14 | +2.60 (18.57%) | |
| D | Tony Adams | 14 | +4.90 (35.00%) | |
| D | Rio Ferdinand | 13 | +2.70 (20.77%) | |
| D | Road Runner | 11 | +0.90 (8.18%) | |
| M | Bryan Robson | 14 | +0.40 (2.86%) |  |
| M | Pepé Le Pew | 13 | +3.20 (24.62%) | |
| M | David Platt | 13 | -1.30 (-10.00%) | |
| M | Paul Merson | 9 | +2.40 (26.67%) | |
| S | Wayne Rooney | 13 | +3.10 (23.85%) |  |
| S | Foghorn Leghorn | 12 | +0.80 (6.67%) | |
| S | Aaron Ramsey | 4 | +1.50 (37.50%) | |
| R | Martin Peters | 10 | +1.50 (15.00%) | |
| R | Jan-Åke Hanwik | 6 | +0.20 (3.33%) | |
| R | Philip Harrison | 5 | +0.20 (4.00%) | |
| 10.79 | +23.10 (15.30%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -0.70 (-5.83%) | 12 | Patrik Borger | K | |
| +2.00 (14.29%) | 14 | Friedrich Nietzsche | D | |
| +2.20 (18.33%) | 12 | Dan Barker | D | |
| +3.40 (30.91%) | 11 | Ducu Pãtrunjel | D | |
| +2.10 (26.25%) | 8 | Christopher Hitchens | D | |
| +1.30 (43.33%) | 3 | Bill May | D | |
| -4.40 (-29.33%) | 15 | Stephen Hawking | M | |
| +0.60 (4.29%) | 14 | Timo Schultz | M | |
| -0.90 (-6.43%) | 14 | Bertrand Russell | M | |
| +0.70 (5.00%) | 14 | René Schnitzler | S | |
| +2.00 (22.22%) | 9 | Daijiro Akamine | S | |
| +8.30 (6.59%) | 11.45 |