| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Howey Kent | 8 | +0.40 (5.00%) | |
| D | Orval Trappist | 11 | +2.80 (25.45%) | |
| D | Conor Cowan | 10 | +2.60 (26.00%) | |
| D | Franciscan Well | 8 | +1.80 (22.50%) | |
| D | Robin Gaskin | 4 | +2.60 (65.00%) | |
| M | Lúcás Doherty | 11 | +1.70 (15.45%) |  |
| M | John Smith | 9 | +2.10 (23.33%) |  |
| M | Lauren Etame | 5 | +0.10 (2.00%) | |
| M | Maurice Gledhill | 5 | -1.60 (-32.00%) | |
| S | Abraham Thompson | 10 | -1.80 (-18.00%) | |
| S | Humphrey Laidlow | 6 | +1.80 (30.00%) | |
| R | Haakon Tjeldøy | 7 | -0.10 (-1.43%) | |
| R | Brent Mawer | 6 | -0.30 (-5.00%) | |
| R | Leslie Holsgrove | 5 | -1.50 (-30.00%) | |
| 7.50 | +10.60 (10.10%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| +4.40 (55.00%) | 8 | Fluffy Muffdiver | K | |
| +2.30 (25.56%) | 9 | Denny Dildo | D | |
| +1.30 (14.44%) | 9 | Dick Stillhard | D | |
| +1.50 (18.75%) | 8 | Benny Beavers | D | |
| -3.40 (-37.78%) | 9 | Titty McNipple | M | |
|
+3.20 (40.00%) | 8 | Johnny Potsmoker | M |
|
+2.60 (32.50%) | 8 | Dilbert Dickgraber | M |
| +1.80 (22.50%) | 8 | Abraham Arsehole | M | |
| +1.70 (21.25%) | 8 | Virgin Hardcock | M | |
| +1.60 (20.00%) | 8 | Spike Sperminator | S | |
|
+0.90 (12.86%) | 7 | Tracy Twatcrusher | S |
| +1.30 (16.25%) | 8 | Gaylord Focker | R | |
| +0.30 (3.75%) | 8 | Billy Bullshit | R | |
| +0.90 (12.86%) | 7 | Samuel Slutfucker | R | |
| +20.40 (18.05%) | 8.07 |