| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Fluffy Muffdiver | 8 | -0.50 (-6.25%) | |
| D | Denny Dildo | 9 | +2.30 (25.56%) | |
| D | Dick Stillhard | 9 | +1.20 (13.33%) | |
| D | Gaylord Focker | 8 | +3.20 (40.00%) | |
| D | Benny Beavers | 8 | +2.10 (26.25%) | |
| D | Billy Bullshit | 8 | +0.80 (10.00%) | |
| M | Titty McNipple | 9 | +0.30 (3.33%) | |
| M | Dilbert Dickgraber | 8 | +2.70 (33.75%) |  |
| M | Virgin Hardcock | 8 | +1.60 (20.00%) | |
| S | Spike Sperminator | 8 | +0.10 (1.25%) |  |
| S | Samuel Slutfucker | 7 | +1.10 (15.71%) | |
| 8.18 | +14.90 (16.56%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| +0.20 (1.67%) | 12 | Gav McAndrew | K | |
|
-0.60 (-5.45%) | 11 | Orval Trappist | D |
| -0.70 (-7.00%) | 10 | Conor Cowan | D | |
| -0.10 (-1.25%) | 8 | Franciscan Well | D | |
| -0.60 (-8.57%) | 7 | Haakon Tjeldøy | D | |
| -3.30 (-30.00%) | 11 | Lúcás Doherty | M | |
| -0.90 (-10.00%) | 9 | John Smith | M | |
| -1.00 (-20.00%) | 5 | Gregory Routledge | M | |
| -1.60 (-32.00%) | 5 | Lauren Etame | M | |
| -2.40 (-48.00%) | 5 | Maurice Gledhill | M | |
| -4.60 (-46.00%) | 10 | Abraham Thompson | S | |
| -15.60 (-16.77%) | 8.45 |