| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Ricky Gervais | 7 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | Kenny Everett | 9 | +2.00 (22.22%) | |
| D | Les Dawson | 9 | +2.00 (22.22%) | |
| D | Peter Cook | 9 | +1.00 (11.11%) | |
| D | Dawn French | 7 | -1.00 (-14.29%) | |
| M | Eric Sykes | 9 | -1.00 (-11.11%) | |
| M | Dick Emery | 8 | +1.00 (12.50%) | |
| M | Bernard Manning | 8 | -3.00 (-37.50%) | |
| M | Rhod Gilbert | 6 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| M | Freddie Bridges | 4 | +1.00 (25.00%) | |
| S | Frank Carson | 7 | -1.00 (-14.29%) | |
| R | Ronnie Corbett | 8 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| R | Frankie Boyle | 8 | -1.00 (-12.50%) | |
| R | Benny Hill | 6 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| 7.50 | 0.00 (0.00%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 11 | Kurt Libuda | K | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 12 | Jay McManaman | D | |
| -1.00 (-11.11%) | 9 | Lee Porter | D | |
| -1.00 (-11.11%) | 9 | Norman Jarvis | D | |
 |
-3.00 (-27.27%) | 11 | Kevin Sheedy | M |
| -2.00 (-20.00%) | 10 | Jens Kienle | M | |
| -2.00 (-20.00%) | 10 | Hugh G Rection | M | |
| -3.00 (-33.33%) | 9 | Carlos Nguiadem | M | |
|
0.00 (0.00%) | 8 | Ralph Sønck | M |
 |
+1.00 (10.00%) | 10 | Kelsey Alvington | S |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 9 | Theodore Cruz | S | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 6 | Gervásio Solento | R | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 4 | Jay-Jay Okocha | R | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 2 | Bjørn Kjeldberg | R | |
| -11.00 (-9.17%) | 8.57 |