| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Richard Dawkins | 13 | -1.00 (-7.69%) | |
| D | Friedrich Nietzsche | 15 | +3.00 (20.00%) | |
| D | Ducu Pãtrunjel | 13 | +2.00 (15.38%) | |
| D | Dick Rodger | 12 | +1.00 (8.33%) |  |
| D | Christopher Hitchens | 11 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| M | Bertrand Russell | 14 | -1.00 (-7.14%) | |
| M | Richard Carrier | 13 | +2.00 (15.38%) |  |
| M | Paul Abbott | 10 | +1.00 (10.00%) | |
| M | Brian Cox | 8 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| S | Douglas Adams | 11 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| S | Stephen Fry | 5 | -1.00 (-20.00%) | |
| 11.36 | +6.00 (4.80%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 13 | Fluffy Muffdiver | K | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 12 | Gaylord Focker | D | |
| -6.00 (-50.00%) | 12 | Michel Arenas | D | |
| -4.00 (-66.67%) | 6 | Keithers Keith | D | |
| -2.00 (-18.18%) | 11 | Johnny Potsmoker | M | |
| -1.00 (-16.67%) | 6 | Willy Main | M | |
| -2.00 (-33.33%) | 6 | Raimundo Guti | M | |
| -5.00 (-83.33%) | 6 | Lola Jorgacevic | M | |
| -3.00 (-60.00%) | 5 | Owen Figueroa | M | |
| -3.00 (-27.27%) | 11 | Spike Sperminator | S | |
| -2.00 (-40.00%) | 5 | Bixente Picart | S | |
| -28.00 (-30.11%) | 8.45 |