| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Terry Pratchett | 5 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | Friedrich Nietzsche | 15 | +5.00 (33.33%) |  |
| D | Ducu Pãtrunjel | 13 | +4.00 (30.77%) | |
| D | Dick Rodger | 12 | +2.00 (16.67%) | |
| D | Sid Livermore | 4 | +3.00 (75.00%) | |
| M | Bertrand Russell | 14 | -2.00 (-14.29%) | |
| M | Richard Carrier | 13 | +3.00 (23.08%) | |
| M | Paul Abbott | 10 | +2.00 (20.00%) | |
| M | Brian Cox | 8 | +2.00 (25.00%) | |
| M | Dan Barker | 5 | +2.00 (40.00%) | |
| S | Douglas Adams | 11 | +3.00 (27.27%) |  |
| R | Christopher Hitchens | 11 | +1.00 (9.09%) | |
| R | Clive Barker | 6 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| R | Stephen Hawking | 5 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| 9.43 | +25.00 (18.94%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| +2.00 (16.67%) | 12 | Jesse Roy | K | |
| +4.00 (30.77%) | 13 | Road Runner | D | |
| +2.00 (15.38%) | 13 | Tony Adams | D | |
| +1.00 (12.50%) | 8 | Henery Hawk | D | |
| -4.00 (-26.67%) | 15 | Pepé Le Pew | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 13 | Martin Peters | M | |
| +1.00 (9.09%) | 11 | Paul Merson | M | |
| +2.00 (20.00%) | 10 | Goofy Gophers | M | |
| -1.00 (-20.00%) | 5 | David Silva | M | |
| +2.00 (15.38%) | 13 | Foghorn Leghorn | S | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 8 | Aaron Ramsey | S | |
| +9.00 (7.44%) | 11.00 |