| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Richard Dawkins | 13 | +1.00 (7.69%) | |
| D | Friedrich Nietzsche | 14 | +2.00 (14.29%) |  |
| D | Ducu Pãtrunjel | 13 | +1.00 (7.69%) | |
| D | Dick Rodger | 12 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | Bill May | 8 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| M | Bertrand Russell | 14 | +2.00 (14.29%) |  |
| M | Richard Carrier | 13 | +2.00 (15.38%) | |
| M | Paul Abbott | 10 | +3.00 (30.00%) | |
| M | Dan Barker | 7 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| M | Stephen Hawking | 6 | +1.00 (16.67%) | |
| S | Clive Barker | 7 | +1.00 (14.29%) | |
| 10.64 | +13.00 (11.11%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -1.00 (-7.69%) | 13 | Jesse Roy | K | |
| -1.00 (-7.69%) | 13 | Road Runner | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 12 | Tony Adams | D | |
| -4.00 (-40.00%) | 10 | Leighton Bäines | D | |
| -3.00 (-33.33%) | 9 | Henery Hawk | D | |
| -2.00 (-13.33%) | 15 | Pepé Le Pew | M | |
|
-2.00 (-14.29%) | 14 | Martin Peters | M |
| -2.00 (-16.67%) | 12 | Paul Merson | M | |
| -3.00 (-27.27%) | 11 | Goofy Gophers | M | |
| -2.00 (-33.33%) | 6 | David Silva | M | |
|
-2.00 (-22.22%) | 9 | Aaron Ramsey | S |
| -22.00 (-17.74%) | 11.27 |