| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Roddy Woomble | 13 | +0.70 (5.38%) | |
| D | Armando Iannucci | 13 | +1.50 (11.54%) | |
| D | Billy Connolly | 13 | -0.20 (-1.54%) | |
| D | Steve Mason | 12 | +0.50 (4.17%) | |
| M | Justin Currie | 14 | +3.00 (21.43%) | |
| M | John Gordon-Sinclair | 14 | +0.90 (6.43%) | |
| M | Richard Jobson | 12 | +4.00 (33.33%) |  |
| M | Gerard Love | 11 | +1.60 (14.55%) | |
| S | Ewan McGregor | 13 | +1.00 (7.69%) | |
| S | Shirley Manson | 12 | +0.10 (0.83%) |  |
| 12.70 | +13.10 (10.31%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -0.40 (-3.08%) | 13 | William Murderface | K | |
| +1.20 (8.57%) | 14 | Skwisgaar Skwigelf | D | |
| +0.50 (3.57%) | 14 | Doctor Rockzo | D | |
| -3.40 (-24.29%) | 14 | Bro Pickles | D | |
|
-1.30 (-11.82%) | 11 | Jasper Bould | D |
| +0.10 (0.67%) | 15 | Charles Foster Ofdensen | M | |
| +0.40 (2.86%) | 14 | Tim Cahill | M | |
| +0.80 (6.15%) | 13 | Aimo Gotti | M | |
| +2.70 (22.50%) | 12 | Keelan O Halloran | S | |
| +0.60 (0.50%) | 13.33 |