| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Fluffy Muffdiver | 7 | +1.10 (15.71%) | |
| D | Denny Dildo | 8 | +2.70 (33.75%) | |
| D | Gaylord Focker | 7 | +3.50 (50.00%) | |
| D | Leigh Maddock | 7 | +2.40 (34.29%) | |
| D | Billy Bullshit | 7 | +1.20 (17.14%) | |
| M | Willie Ellison | 8 | +1.70 (21.25%) |  |
| M | Johnny Potsmoker | 7 | +3.60 (51.43%) | |
| M | Jeffery Myer | 7 | +1.00 (14.29%) |  |
| M | Abraham Arsehole | 6 | +3.80 (63.33%) | |
| M | Dilbert Dickgraber | 6 | +2.20 (36.67%) | |
| S | Samuel Slutfucker | 7 | +1.00 (14.29%) | |
| R | Spike Sperminator | 7 | +0.90 (12.86%) | |
| R | Benny Beavers | 7 | +0.20 (2.86%) | |
| R | Freddie Fuckface | 6 | +0.70 (11.67%) | |
| 6.93 | +26.00 (26.80%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -0.80 (-8.00%) | 10 | Father Todd Unctious | K | |
| +1.10 (12.22%) | 9 | Eoin McLove | D | |
| +1.00 (11.11%) | 9 | Father Paul Stone | D | |
| +0.40 (5.71%) | 7 | Father Adramelech | D | |
| +1.90 (31.67%) | 6 | Father Baal | D | |
| +0.60 (15.00%) | 4 | Father Roger Moore | D | |
| -1.10 (-12.22%) | 9 | Luther Coppard | M | |
| -0.60 (-8.57%) | 7 | Bishop Len Brennan | M | |
| -0.50 (-12.50%) | 4 | Father Gordon Connely | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 3 | Father Bran Maguire | M | |
| -2.10 (-23.33%) | 9 | Pat Mustard | S | |
| +0.10 (1.43%) | 7 | Father Lucifer | R | |
| -1.00 (-14.29%) | 7 | Father Jack Hackett | R | |
| -0.40 (-10.00%) | 4 | Lineu Júnior | R | |
| -1.40 (-1.47%) | 6.79 |