| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Fluffy Muffdiver | 7 | +0.40 (5.71%) | |
| D | Denny Dildo | 8 | +3.40 (42.50%) |  |
| D | Benny Beavers | 7 | +2.60 (37.14%) | |
| D | Gaylord Focker | 7 | +2.10 (30.00%) | |
| D | Leigh Maddock | 7 | +1.70 (24.29%) |  |
| M | Willie Ellison | 8 | +1.30 (16.25%) | |
| M | Johnny Potsmoker | 7 | +3.10 (44.29%) | |
| M | Virgin Hardcock | 7 | +2.60 (37.14%) | |
| M | Abraham Arsehole | 6 | +3.00 (50.00%) | |
| M | Dilbert Dickgraber | 6 | +2.20 (36.67%) | |
| S | Spike Sperminator | 7 | +0.90 (12.86%) | |
| R | Billy Bullshit | 7 | +1.40 (20.00%) | |
| R | Samuel Slutfucker | 7 | +0.10 (1.43%) | |
| R | Freddie Fuckface | 6 | +1.60 (26.67%) | |
| 6.93 | +26.40 (27.22%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| +2.70 (30.00%) | 9 | Jealous Jeff | K | |
| +0.20 (2.00%) | 10 | Gayboy Chrille | D | |
| -0.30 (-3.00%) | 10 | Lady Eve | D | |
| +1.30 (16.25%) | 8 | Toni von Fersen | D | |
| +0.40 (5.71%) | 7 | Lady Seven | D | |
| +1.30 (16.25%) | 8 | Torleif Efraimsson | M | |
| -0.40 (-5.00%) | 8 | Romeu Bilardo | M | |
| +2.00 (28.57%) | 7 | Lambert Gooding | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 7 | Grr Ass Bandits | M | |
| -1.50 (-25.00%) | 6 | Hilmar Gretarson | S | |
| +1.10 (27.50%) | 4 | Freddy Westgate | S | |
| -1.40 (-28.00%) | 5 | Pierre Lindblad | R | |
| +5.40 (6.07%) | 7.42 |