| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Fluffy Muffdiver | 8 | +2.20 (27.50%) | |
| D | Denny Dildo | 9 | +3.20 (35.56%) |  |
| D | Dick Stillhard | 9 | +0.50 (5.56%) | |
| D | Billy Bullshit | 8 | +1.80 (22.50%) | |
| M | Titty McNipple | 9 | +0.30 (3.33%) |  |
| M | Johnny Potsmoker | 8 | +3.70 (46.25%) | |
| M | Abraham Arsehole | 8 | +2.40 (30.00%) | |
| M | Dilbert Dickgraber | 8 | +1.80 (22.50%) | |
| M | Virgin Hardcock | 8 | -0.90 (-11.25%) | |
| S | Spike Sperminator | 8 | +1.30 (16.25%) | |
| S | Tracy Twatcrusher | 7 | -0.70 (-10.00%) | |
| R | Gaylord Focker | 8 | +1.60 (20.00%) | |
| R | Benny Beavers | 8 | +0.90 (11.25%) | |
| 8.15 | +18.10 (17.08%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 10 | Des Devine | K | |
| -3.30 (-25.38%) | 13 | Kurt Kristel | D | |
| -1.00 (-11.11%) | 9 | Melker Nelson | D | |
| +0.90 (22.50%) | 4 | Kevin Coyle | D | |
| -0.10 (-2.50%) | 4 | Iustin Condurache | D | |
| -2.00 (-22.22%) | 9 | Jarred Turner | M | |
| +0.10 (1.25%) | 8 | Riordan Gillian | M | |
| -0.30 (-6.00%) | 5 | Jorge Carmona | M | |
| +0.50 (12.50%) | 4 | Michael Thorsteinsson | M | |
| -0.60 (-15.00%) | 4 | Hugh Morris | M | |
| -2.60 (-26.00%) | 10 | Steve Forde | S | |
| +0.10 (3.33%) | 3 | Seamus Smith | R | |
| +0.70 (35.00%) | 2 | Harry Elliot | R | |
| -7.60 (-8.94%) | 6.54 |