| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | William Murderface | 13 | -0.80 (-6.15%) | |
| D | Bro Pickles | 15 | -4.50 (-30.00%) | |
| D | Skwisgaar Skwigelf | 13 | +0.80 (6.15%) | |
| D | Jezdimir Medarevic | 8 | -0.30 (-3.75%) | |
| M | Charles Foster Ofdensen | 15 | -3.20 (-21.33%) | |
| M | Toki Wartooth | 14 | +1.60 (11.43%) | |
| M | Piaras Burke | 11 | +3.10 (28.18%) |  |
| M | Andreas Vestureið | 8 | +1.70 (21.25%) | |
| M | Peter Trusca | 5 | +0.60 (12.00%) | |
| S | Keelan O Halloran | 12 | +1.10 (9.17%) |  |
| S | Bo Voutila | 5 | +1.00 (20.00%) | |
| 10.82 | +1.10 (0.92%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -0.60 (-4.29%) | 14 | Gordon Banks | K | |
| +0.70 (5.00%) | 14 | Tony Adams | D | |
|
+0.60 (4.62%) | 13 | Rio Ferdinand | D |
| -3.80 (-31.67%) | 12 | Road Runner | D | |
|
+1.00 (7.14%) | 14 | Pepé Le Pew | M |
| +0.20 (1.43%) | 14 | David Platt | M | |
| +1.90 (14.62%) | 13 | Bryan Robson | M | |
|
+2.20 (20.00%) | 11 | Martin Peters | M |
| +0.30 (3.00%) | 10 | Paul Merson | M | |
|
+1.80 (13.85%) | 13 | Wayne Rooney | S |
| +0.50 (4.17%) | 12 | Foghorn Leghorn | S | |
| +0.40 (8.00%) | 5 | Aaron Ramsey | R | |
| +5.20 (3.59%) | 12.08 |