| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Fluffy Muffdiver | 10 | -1.00 (-10.00%) | |
| D | Sylvester Syphilis | 13 | -1.00 (-7.69%) | |
| D | Denny Dildo | 11 | +3.00 (27.27%) | |
| D | Gaylord Focker | 10 | +4.00 (40.00%) | |
| D | Billy Bullshit | 9 | +2.00 (22.22%) | |
| M | Virgin Hardcock | 10 | -1.00 (-10.00%) | |
| M | Johnny Potsmoker | 10 | -1.00 (-10.00%) | |
| M | Dilbert Dickgraber | 9 | -3.00 (-33.33%) | |
| S | Spike Sperminator | 9 | +1.00 (11.11%) | |
| S | Samuel Slutfucker | 8 | +1.00 (12.50%) | |
| S | Gabriel Gonorrhea | 5 | -2.00 (-40.00%) | |
| 9.45 | +2.00 (1.92%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -2.00 (-16.67%) | 12 | Ghita Andrei | K | |
| +4.00 (36.36%) | 11 | Ted McGreal | D | |
| +3.00 (30.00%) | 10 | Martin Duffy | D | |
 |
0.00 (0.00%) | 10 | Shaun Ryder | D |
| +3.00 (33.33%) | 9 | Mark Berry | D | |
| +1.00 (9.09%) | 11 | Glen Agnew | M | |
| -2.00 (-18.18%) | 11 | Paul Weller | M | |
 |
+2.00 (20.00%) | 10 | Johnny MacGow | M |
| +2.00 (25.00%) | 8 | Graham McPherson | M | |
|
+2.00 (22.22%) | 9 | Shaun Malcolmson | S |
| +1.00 (12.50%) | 8 | Jarl Hallengren | S | |
| +2.00 (25.00%) | 8 | Quincy Webb | R | |
| +16.00 (13.68%) | 9.75 |