| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Casper Schmeichel | 6 | +0.50 (8.33%) | |
| D | Gerry Gerry Gerry | 7 | +1.70 (24.29%) |  |
| D | Posing Feker | 7 | +0.20 (2.86%) | |
| D | Back Of The Net | 4 | +1.80 (45.00%) | |
| M | Muzzy Izzet | 8 | +2.40 (30.00%) |  |
| M | Bernard Crosby | 7 | +2.10 (30.00%) | |
| M | Darren Sicknote Anderton | 7 | +1.90 (27.14%) | |
| M | Boom Slang | 7 | +1.70 (24.29%) | |
| M | Karma Chameleon | 5 | +1.40 (28.00%) | |
| S | Black Mamba | 6 | +2.70 (45.00%) | |
| S | Gaboon Viper | 6 | +2.30 (38.33%) | |
| R | Steve Guppy | 5 | -0.30 (-6.00%) | |
| 6.25 | +18.40 (24.53%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -1.10 (-13.75%) | 8 | Allan McGregor | K | |
| -0.10 (-1.25%) | 8 | Osório Barreiro | D | |
| -0.10 (-1.43%) | 7 | Bartholomew Brown | D | |
| +1.50 (25.00%) | 6 | Captain Fishfingers | D | |
| +1.20 (30.00%) | 4 | Group Sex | D | |
| -0.60 (-6.67%) | 9 | Brian McClair | M | |
|
+0.40 (6.67%) | 6 | Frank Lampard | M |
| +0.50 (10.00%) | 5 | Siva Shiva | M | |
|
+0.10 (2.50%) | 4 | Cristiano Messi | M |
| +1.60 (17.78%) | 9 | Johann Steinsson | S | |
| +1.20 (15.00%) | 8 | Francis MacLeish | S | |
| +4.60 (6.22%) | 6.73 |