| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Naked Jeff | 4 | -0.30 (-7.50%) | |
| D | Osório Barreiro | 8 | -0.80 (-10.00%) | |
| D | Bartholomew Brown | 7 | +1.30 (18.57%) | |
| D | Captain Fishfingers | 6 | +0.30 (5.00%) | |
| D | Group Sex | 4 | +0.20 (5.00%) | |
| M | Brian McClair | 9 | -0.90 (-10.00%) |  |
| M | Frank Lampard | 6 | +0.50 (8.33%) |  |
| M | Cristiano Messi | 4 | -1.50 (-37.50%) | |
| S | Johann Steinsson | 9 | +1.40 (15.56%) | |
| S | Francis MacLeish | 8 | +1.60 (20.00%) | |
| S | Healthy Fastfood | 4 | +2.10 (52.50%) | |
| 6.27 | +3.90 (5.65%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| +0.10 (0.83%) | 12 | Chocklat Bear | K | |
| -1.70 (-17.00%) | 10 | Eamon Knowles | D | |
| +0.30 (3.75%) | 8 | Steven Brice | D | |
| -0.30 (-3.75%) | 8 | Daniel Calfes | D | |
| +0.40 (6.67%) | 6 | Billy Hodge | D | |
| +0.30 (3.75%) | 8 | John Keogh | M | |
|
-0.50 (-6.25%) | 8 | Paddy Richards | M |
| -0.40 (-5.71%) | 7 | Gary Wilkinson | M | |
|
+0.40 (6.67%) | 6 | Zakay Mozart | M |
| -1.20 (-15.00%) | 8 | Mihovil Cokolic | S | |
| +0.50 (12.50%) | 4 | Frankie Ackland | S | |
| -2.10 (-30.00%) | 7 | Cletus Unsworth | R | |
| -4.20 (-4.57%) | 7.67 |