| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Allan McGregor | 8 | -2.10 (-26.25%) | |
| D | Osório Barreiro | 8 | -0.10 (-1.25%) | |
| D | Bartholomew Brown | 7 | -0.30 (-4.29%) | |
| D | Captain Fishfingers | 6 | +0.60 (10.00%) | |
| M | Brian McClair | 9 | -0.30 (-3.33%) | |
| M | Frank Lampard | 6 | -0.30 (-5.00%) | |
| M | Jesus Christ | 5 | +1.30 (26.00%) | |
| M | Siva Shiva | 5 | +0.50 (10.00%) | |
| M | Cristiano Messi | 4 | -1.20 (-30.00%) | |
| S | Johann Steinsson | 9 | +0.30 (3.33%) | |
| S | Francis MacLeish | 8 | +0.20 (2.50%) | |
| 6.82 | -1.40 (-1.87%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| +2.60 (37.14%) | 7 | Slimy Git | K | |
| +1.50 (21.43%) | 7 | Gerry Gerry Gerry | D | |
| -0.80 (-13.33%) | 6 | Klyde Bridgewater | D | |
| +1.70 (42.50%) | 4 | Back Of The Net | D | |
| +1.70 (21.25%) | 8 | Muzzy Izzet | M | |
| +1.80 (25.71%) | 7 | Boom Slang | M | |
| +1.70 (24.29%) | 7 | Darren Sicknote Anderton | M | |
| +1.60 (22.86%) | 7 | Bernard Crosby | M | |
  |
+3.40 (68.00%) | 5 | Karma Chameleon | M |
|
+1.90 (27.14%) | 7 | Spitting Cobra | S |
| +0.60 (15.00%) | 4 | Emile Heskey | S | |
| +1.10 (22.00%) | 5 | Big Stevie Walsh | R | |
| +18.80 (25.41%) | 6.17 |