| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Allan McGregor | 8 | +2.40 (30.00%) | |
| D | Osório Barreiro | 8 | +0.90 (11.25%) | |
| D | Bartholomew Brown | 7 | +0.70 (10.00%) | |
| D | Captain Fishfingers | 6 | +1.90 (31.67%) | |
| D | Group Sex | 4 | +2.00 (50.00%) | |
| M | Brian McClair | 9 | -3.60 (-40.00%) | |
| M | Frank Lampard | 6 | +1.40 (23.33%) | |
| M | Jesus Christ | 5 | +2.20 (44.00%) |  |
| M | Siva Shiva | 5 | +0.80 (16.00%) | |
| S | Johann Steinsson | 9 | +0.90 (10.00%) |  |
| S | Francis MacLeish | 8 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| R | Easter Bunny | 4 | +0.60 (15.00%) | |
| 6.58 | +10.20 (12.91%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| +0.20 (6.67%) | 3 | Nardo Tagliani | K | |
| +2.10 (30.00%) | 7 | Djati Subrata | D | |
| +1.70 (24.29%) | 7 | Alejandro Zarate | D | |
| +1.10 (15.71%) | 7 | Bojan Ziros | D | |
| +2.50 (35.71%) | 7 | Dae Kim Nan | M | |
| +1.50 (25.00%) | 6 | Sander Høgsand | M | |
| +0.30 (5.00%) | 6 | Veríssimo Fraga | M | |
| +1.20 (24.00%) | 5 | Mee Prasertsakul | M | |
| -0.10 (-1.43%) | 7 | Benito Arcari | S | |
| -0.50 (-8.33%) | 6 | Ji Hun Geun | S | |
| -1.30 (-21.67%) | 6 | Charles Borrill | S | |
| +8.70 (12.99%) | 6.09 |