| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Denny Crane | 12 | +3.10 (25.83%) | |
| D | Alan Hansen | 12 | -0.10 (-0.83%) | |
| D | Brieda Hangeland | 11 | +0.80 (7.27%) | |
| D | Vachely Cole | 10 | -1.60 (-16.00%) | |
| M | Paul Mince | 13 | +3.30 (25.38%) |  |
| M | Mikel Archeddar | 11 | +1.60 (14.55%) | |
| M | Charles Darwin | 10 | +1.80 (18.00%) | |
| M | Moomoo Sissoko | 9 | +2.20 (24.44%) | |
| M | Cow Dunga | 5 | +0.80 (16.00%) | |
| S | Robbie Fowler | 12 | -2.20 (-18.33%) | |
| S | Barack O’Bama | 4 | +0.20 (5.00%) | |
| 9.91 | +9.90 (9.08%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -1.50 (-18.75%) | 8 | Gearalt Delap | K | |
|
-0.90 (-8.18%) | 11 | Jimmy McElroy | D |
| -1.40 (-12.73%) | 11 | Alan Partridge | D | |
| -2.40 (-24.00%) | 10 | Will Ferrell | D | |
| -0.50 (-10.00%) | 5 | Patrick Jane | D | |
| -1.70 (-34.00%) | 5 | Monty Brooker | D | |
 |
-1.00 (-9.09%) | 11 | Jeremy Kyle | M |
| -1.10 (-12.22%) | 9 | Gerard Mcmahon Ii | M | |
| -0.10 (-1.43%) | 7 | Geraldinho McMahoninho | M | |
| -0.10 (-1.67%) | 6 | Gerardo McMahonii | S | |
|
-1.40 (-23.33%) | 6 | Ron Burgundy Ii | S |
| -12.10 (-13.60%) | 8.09 |