| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Gearalt Delap | 8 | -1.00 (-12.50%) | |
| D | Jimmy McElroy | 11 | +1.40 (12.73%) | |
| D | Alan Partridge | 11 | -0.40 (-3.64%) | |
| D | Will Ferrell | 10 | -0.60 (-6.00%) | |
| D | Monty Brooker | 5 | -0.40 (-8.00%) | |
| M | Jeremy Kyle | 11 | -0.40 (-3.64%) | |
| M | Brick Tamland | 10 | -0.60 (-6.00%) | |
| M | Gerard Mcmahon Ii | 9 | -0.10 (-1.11%) | |
| M | Charlie Winning Sheen | 5 | -0.20 (-4.00%) | |
| M | Kenny Dalglish | 5 | -0.20 (-4.00%) | |
| S | Ron Burgundy Ii | 6 | -2.00 (-33.33%) | |
| 8.27 | -4.50 (-4.95%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| +0.80 (8.00%) | 10 | Ice Tea | K | |
| +0.30 (3.00%) | 10 | Nail Head | D | |
| +1.40 (17.50%) | 8 | Ball Baggs | D | |
 |
+1.20 (15.00%) | 8 | Bobby Ball | D |
| +1.00 (20.00%) | 5 | Jasper Carrot | D | |
 |
+1.10 (11.00%) | 10 | Snake Eyes | M |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 10 | Mark Thomas | M | |
|
+0.10 (1.11%) | 9 | Gag Reflex | M |
| -0.20 (-3.33%) | 6 | Prince Will | M | |
| +1.40 (20.00%) | 7 | Killer Iceman | S | |
| +0.60 (8.57%) | 7 | Mark Dent | S | |
| -0.70 (-14.00%) | 5 | Lemon Head | R | |
| +0.40 (13.33%) | 3 | Bang Tidy | R | |
| +7.40 (7.55%) | 7.54 |