| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Stephan Stover | 6 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | Taylor Guy | 8 | +2.30 (28.75%) |  |
| D | Jesse Medina | 8 | +0.40 (5.00%) | |
| D | Chet Carey | 7 | +0.80 (11.43%) | |
| M | Wade Riley | 8 | +1.00 (12.50%) | |
| M | Kaj Krokström | 8 | +0.50 (6.25%) | |
| M | Jim Weeks | 8 | -0.20 (-2.50%) | |
| M | Brian Chen | 7 | +0.10 (1.43%) | |
| S | Alfredo Mendez | 7 | +2.20 (31.43%) |  |
| S | Baron Bon Iver | 7 | -1.20 (-17.14%) | |
| S | Finlay Guthrie | 4 | +1.10 (27.50%) | |
| R | Ryan Preston | 8 | -0.60 (-7.50%) | |
| 7.17 | +6.40 (7.44%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -1.30 (-26.00%) | 5 | Naked Jeff | K | |
| -1.10 (-13.75%) | 8 | Osório Barreiro | D | |
|
-0.30 (-4.29%) | 7 | Captain Fishfingers | D |
| -1.30 (-18.57%) | 7 | Bartholomew Brown | D | |
| -0.10 (-2.50%) | 4 | John Terry | D | |
|
-0.70 (-7.00%) | 10 | Johann Steinsson | M |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 8 | Frank Lampard | M | |
| -0.20 (-2.50%) | 8 | Brian McClair | M | |
|
+2.00 (28.57%) | 7 | Jesus Christ | M |
| +0.60 (12.00%) | 5 | Cristiano Messi | M | |
|
+0.60 (7.50%) | 8 | Francis MacLeish | S |
| -1.80 (-2.34%) | 7.00 |