| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Allan McGregor | 8 | +0.40 (5.00%) | |
| D | Osório Barreiro | 8 | +0.90 (11.25%) | |
| D | Bartholomew Brown | 7 | +2.70 (38.57%) | |
| D | Captain Fishfingers | 7 | +0.70 (10.00%) | |
| D | Group Sex | 5 | +2.70 (54.00%) |  |
| M | Frank Lampard | 8 | -0.20 (-2.50%) | |
| M | Brian McClair | 8 | -3.40 (-42.50%) | |
| M | Jesus Christ | 7 | +1.20 (17.14%) | |
| M | Healthy Fastfood | 5 | -2.20 (-44.00%) | |
| S | Johann Steinsson | 10 | +2.00 (20.00%) |  |
| S | Francis MacLeish | 8 | -0.10 (-1.25%) | |
| 7.36 | +4.70 (5.80%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -3.90 (-48.75%) | 8 | Vito Dominguez | K | |
| -0.90 (-15.00%) | 6 | Sheamus O’Shaunaghsey | D | |
| -1.80 (-30.00%) | 6 | William Prunier | D | |
| -1.10 (-22.00%) | 5 | Nineteen Counting | D | |
| -1.40 (-28.00%) | 5 | Heartbreak Kid | D | |
|
+0.10 (1.25%) | 8 | Tom Cleverley | M |
| -0.50 (-8.33%) | 6 | Matt Le Tissier | M | |
| -0.80 (-13.33%) | 6 | José Luis Rincón | M | |
| -0.80 (-13.33%) | 6 | Julian Joachim | M | |
| -1.20 (-24.00%) | 5 | Georgie Steve | M | |
|
-1.10 (-18.33%) | 6 | Steve Howard | S |
| -13.40 (-20.00%) | 6.09 |