| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Alan Johnson | 5 | -1.00 (-20.00%) | |
| D | Jeff Heaney | 8 | +4.00 (50.00%) | |
| D | Toni Nextdoor | 7 | +2.00 (28.57%) | |
| D | Zamri Blackjackz | 6 | +1.00 (16.67%) | |
| M | Mensa Gail | 8 | -1.00 (-12.50%) | |
| M | Mark Corrigan | 7 | +2.00 (28.57%) | |
| M | King Kenny Dalglish | 7 | +1.00 (14.29%) | |
| M | Football Related Fred | 7 | +1.00 (14.29%) | |
| M | Miziler Meireles | 6 | +1.00 (16.67%) | |
| S | Jason de La Pena | 7 | -2.00 (-28.57%) | |
| S | Fucking Hell Frankel | 6 | +1.00 (16.67%) | |
| 6.73 | +9.00 (12.16%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
 |
+3.00 (33.33%) | 9 | Justin Lee Collins | K |
| +1.00 (12.50%) | 8 | Tomás Goulart | D | |
| +1.00 (12.50%) | 8 | Ric Matzuzzi | D | |
| +2.00 (28.57%) | 7 | Tom Havercrotch | D | |
| +3.00 (50.00%) | 6 | Edgar Sveasson | D | |
| -2.00 (-22.22%) | 9 | Racist Bastard | M | |
| +3.00 (37.50%) | 8 | Jambags Andthe Gladrags | M | |
 |
+1.00 (12.50%) | 8 | Emile Orson | M |
| +2.00 (33.33%) | 6 | Sticky Shivy | M | |
| +3.00 (60.00%) | 5 | Daisy Does Dallas Ii | M | |
| +1.00 (14.29%) | 7 | Crawford Crawf Crawford | S | |
| +1.00 (12.50%) | 8 | Alan Sugar | R | |
| +2.00 (28.57%) | 7 | The Wezmoister | R | |
| +21.00 (21.88%) | 7.38 |