| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Naked Jeff | 8 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | Captain Fishfingers | 8 | +2.00 (25.00%) | |
| D | Branislav Ivanovic | 8 | +2.00 (25.00%) | |
| D | Group Sex | 8 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | John Terry | 7 | +2.00 (28.57%) |  |
| M | Frank Lampard | 10 | +1.00 (10.00%) |  |
| M | Jesus Christ | 9 | +2.00 (22.22%) | |
| M | John Keogh | 9 | +1.00 (11.11%) | |
| M | Cristiano Messi | 8 | +2.00 (25.00%) | |
| M | Lucas Piazon | 7 | +2.00 (28.57%) | |
| S | Healthy Fastfood | 8 | -2.00 (-25.00%) | |
| 8.18 | +12.00 (13.33%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 9 | Jeremie Tyler | K | |
| +2.00 (28.57%) | 7 | Suphi Efe | D | |
| +1.00 (14.29%) | 7 | Lancelot Routledge | D | |
| +1.00 (14.29%) | 7 | Claudio Nicoli | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 8 | Toni Dohlsten | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 8 | Dorian Hugeac | M | |
| -2.00 (-25.00%) | 8 | Akono Mobuzo | M | |
| -2.00 (-25.00%) | 8 | Nebojsa Kuic | M | |
| +1.00 (14.29%) | 7 | Carsten Pohlmann | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 7 | André Carreto | S | |
| +1.00 (16.67%) | 6 | Miyamoto Hanabusa | S | |
|
0.00 (0.00%) | 7 | Søren Olsen | R |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 6 | Kenneth Waring | R | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 5 | Declan Thurston | R | |
| +2.00 (2.00%) | 7.14 |