| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Naked Jeff | 9 | -2.00 (-22.22%) | |
| D | Branislav Ivanovic | 9 | +1.00 (11.11%) |  |
| D | Captain Fishfingers | 9 | +1.00 (11.11%) | |
| D | Group Sex | 8 | +2.00 (25.00%) | |
| D | Ted MacAvery | 4 | -1.00 (-25.00%) | |
| M | Frank Lampard | 10 | +1.00 (10.00%) | |
| M | Jesus Christ | 10 | +1.00 (10.00%) |  |
| M | Cristiano Messi | 9 | +1.00 (11.11%) | |
| M | John Keogh | 8 | +1.00 (12.50%) | |
| M | Lucas Piazon | 8 | +1.00 (12.50%) | |
| S | Healthy Fastfood | 8 | -1.00 (-12.50%) | |
| R | John Terry | 8 | -1.00 (-12.50%) | |
| R | Jimmy McDonald | 6 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| 8.15 | +4.00 (3.77%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 10 | Andre Arendse | K | |
| -2.00 (-20.00%) | 10 | Mats-Olof Wideberg | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 7 | Neil Tovey | D | |
| -1.00 (-14.29%) | 7 | David Nyati | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 5 | Lucas Radebe | D | |
| -2.00 (-22.22%) | 9 | Jomo Sono | M | |
|
-1.00 (-12.50%) | 8 | Augustine Makalakalane | M |
|
0.00 (0.00%) | 7 | John Shoes Moshoe | M |
| -2.00 (-28.57%) | 7 | Tsimpiwe Tshabalala | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 8 | Shaun Bartlett | S | |
| +1.00 (20.00%) | 5 | Benny McCarthy | S | |
| -1.00 (-11.11%) | 9 | Rocky Allberg | R | |
| -1.00 (-16.67%) | 6 | Roald Wilsgaard | R | |
| -1.00 (-20.00%) | 5 | Bonghani Khumalo | R | |
| -10.00 (-9.71%) | 7.36 |