| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Jayjay Okotcha | 8 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | Old Bastard Malcy | 11 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | Tom Havercrotch | 7 | +3.00 (42.86%) |  |
| D | Edgar Sveasson | 7 | +2.00 (28.57%) | |
| M | Jambags Andthe Gladrags | 9 | +4.00 (44.44%) |  |
| M | Racist Bastard | 9 | +3.00 (33.33%) | |
| M | The Wezmoister | 8 | +1.00 (12.50%) | |
| M | Sticky Shivy | 7 | +4.00 (57.14%) | |
| M | Malcy Malcysson | 5 | +2.00 (40.00%) | |
| S | Wankover Jeffs Bird | 10 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| S | Pooper Bear | 7 | +1.00 (14.29%) | |
| R | Alan Sugar | 9 | +1.00 (11.11%) | |
| R | Captain Charisma | 7 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| R | Daisy Does Dallas Ii | 6 | +2.00 (33.33%) | |
| 7.86 | +23.00 (20.91%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -1.00 (-9.09%) | 11 | Shaun Rowett | K | |
| +1.00 (9.09%) | 11 | Manfred Hausmann | D | |
|
+2.00 (20.00%) | 10 | Jayjay McLovin | D |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 10 | Jayjay McMuffin | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 9 | Borat Sagdiyev | D | |
|
+2.00 (18.18%) | 11 | Indiana Jones | M |
| +1.00 (10.00%) | 10 | Jeff Stelling | M | |
| -3.00 (-30.00%) | 10 | Joshua Davison | M | |
| +1.00 (11.11%) | 9 | Double Andimsold | M | |
| -2.00 (-20.00%) | 10 | Reggie Draper | S | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 9 | Ollie Guy | S | |
| +1.00 (0.91%) | 10.00 |