| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Vito Dominguez | 12 | -4.00 (-33.33%) | |
| D | Nineteen Counting | 9 | -1.00 (-11.11%) | |
| D | Sheamus O’Shaunaghsey | 9 | -2.00 (-22.22%) | |
| D | Teremun Buba | 5 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | Papa Fritzl | 5 | -1.00 (-20.00%) | |
| M | Tom Cleverley | 10 | -1.00 (-10.00%) | |
| M | José Luis Rincón | 9 | +1.00 (11.11%) | |
| M | Gary Speed | 8 | +1.00 (12.50%) | |
| M | Julian Joachim | 8 | -2.00 (-25.00%) | |
| S | Jama Bags | 7 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| S | Jam Bear | 7 | -2.00 (-28.57%) | |
| R | Lemmie Ashcroft | 5 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| R | Tomtom Tomtom | 4 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| R | Dennis Davids | 4 | -1.00 (-25.00%) | |
| 7.29 | -12.00 (-11.76%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| +1.00 (10.00%) | 10 | Naked Jeff | K | |
| +1.00 (10.00%) | 10 | Captain Fishfingers | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 10 | Branislav Ivanovic | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 9 | John Terry | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 5 | Fucking Skillz | D | |
| -1.00 (-25.00%) | 4 | Ryan Bertrand | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 11 | Frank Lampard | M | |
 |
0.00 (0.00%) | 10 | Cristiano Messi | M |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 5 | Miguel Afonso | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 9 | Healthy Fastfood | S | |
 |
-1.00 (-12.50%) | 8 | Jesus Claus | S |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 6 | Juan Mata | R | |
| -1.00 (-16.67%) | 6 | Daniel Sturridge | R | |
| -1.00 (-25.00%) | 4 | Fanny Lips | R | |
| -2.00 (-1.87%) | 7.64 |