| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Justin Lee Collins | 11 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | Who Ate Adamsandler | 12 | +2.00 (16.67%) |  |
| D | Tom Havercrotch | 9 | +2.00 (22.22%) | |
| D | Iain Dyer Ear | 9 | +1.00 (11.11%) | |
| D | Captain Charisma | 9 | -1.00 (-11.11%) | |
| M | Old Cunt Malcy | 11 | +3.00 (27.27%) |  |
| M | Quitter Jambags | 11 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| M | Jambags Andthe Gladrags | 10 | +3.00 (30.00%) | |
| M | Daisy Does Dallas Ii | 8 | +4.00 (50.00%) | |
| M | Malcy Malcysson | 7 | +1.00 (14.29%) | |
| S | Pooper Bear | 9 | -1.00 (-11.11%) | |
| R | Alan Sugar | 10 | +2.00 (20.00%) | |
| R | Charlie Bejjita Adam | 5 | +1.00 (20.00%) | |
| 9.31 | +17.00 (14.05%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -1.00 (-11.11%) | 9 | John Osborne | K | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 9 | Cyril Knowles | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 9 | Keith Newton | D | |
| -2.00 (-22.22%) | 9 | Ed Stokoe | D | |
| -1.00 (-14.29%) | 7 | Trevor Hockey | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 10 | Billy Bremner | M | |
|
-1.00 (-10.00%) | 10 | Johnny Haynes | M |
| -3.00 (-37.50%) | 8 | Keith Weller | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 7 | Chris Balderstone | M | |
| -3.00 (-33.33%) | 9 | Ferenc Puskas | S | |
|
0.00 (0.00%) | 5 | King Of Stamfordbridge | S |
| -11.00 (-11.96%) | 8.36 |