| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Naked Jeff | 11 | +1.00 (9.09%) | |
| D | Captain Fishfingers | 11 | +2.00 (18.18%) | |
| D | Branislav Ivanovic | 11 | +1.00 (9.09%) | |
| D | John Terry | 9 | +1.00 (11.11%) | |
| D | Fucking Skillz | 6 | +2.00 (33.33%) | |
| M | Cristiano Messi | 10 | 0.00 (0.00%) |   |
| M | Juan Mata | 7 | -1.00 (-14.29%) | |
| M | Miguel Afonso | 6 | -1.00 (-16.67%) | |
| S | Jesus Claus | 8 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| S | Robin van Ronaldo | 5 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| S | Lionel Pelé | 4 | -1.00 (-25.00%) | |
| R | Frank Lampard | 12 | -1.00 (-8.33%) | |
| R | Ryan Bertrand | 5 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| 8.08 | +3.00 (2.86%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -2.00 (-16.67%) | 12 | Vito Dominguez | K | |
| -2.00 (-20.00%) | 10 | Nineteen Counting | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 9 | Sheamus O’Shaunaghsey | D | |
| -1.00 (-14.29%) | 7 | Lemmie Ashcroft | D | |
| -1.00 (-16.67%) | 6 | Papa Fritzl | D | |
| -5.00 (-50.00%) | 10 | José Luis Rincón | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 9 | Tom Cleverley | M | |
| -1.00 (-11.11%) | 9 | Julian Joachim | M | |
| -1.00 (-12.50%) | 8 | Gary Speed | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 5 | Hannes Albrektsson | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 8 | Jama Bags | S | |
| -1.00 (-16.67%) | 6 | Teremun Buba | R | |
| -1.00 (-16.67%) | 6 | Jam Bear | R | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 4 | Tomtom Tomtom | R | |
| -15.00 (-13.76%) | 7.79 |