| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Cock Block | 7 | -1.00 (-14.29%) | |
| D | Captain Fishfingers | 11 | -1.00 (-9.09%) | |
| D | John Terry | 9 | +1.00 (11.11%) |  |
| D | Fucking Skillz | 6 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | Ryan Bertrand | 5 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| M | Frank Lampard | 12 | -1.00 (-8.33%) | |
| M | Cristiano Messi | 10 | +4.00 (40.00%) | |
| M | Juan Mata | 7 | +1.00 (14.29%) | |
| M | Miguel Afonso | 6 | +1.00 (16.67%) | |
| M | Diego Maradona | 5 | +1.00 (20.00%) |  |
| S | Marc-Vivien Bitangane | 8 | -1.00 (-12.50%) | |
| R | Robin van Ronaldo | 5 | -1.00 (-20.00%) | |
| 7.58 | +3.00 (3.30%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -2.00 (-22.22%) | 9 | John Osborne | K | |
| +2.00 (22.22%) | 9 | Cyril Knowles | D | |
| +1.00 (11.11%) | 9 | Keith Newton | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 9 | Ed Stokoe | D | |
| -1.00 (-14.29%) | 7 | Trevor Hockey | D | |
| -2.00 (-20.00%) | 10 | Johnny Haynes | M | |
|
-2.00 (-20.00%) | 10 | Billy Bremner | M |
|
0.00 (0.00%) | 8 | Keith Weller | M |
| +2.00 (28.57%) | 7 | Chris Balderstone | M | |
| +1.00 (14.29%) | 7 | Laurie Cunningham | M | |
| +1.00 (11.11%) | 9 | Ferenc Puskas | S | |
| -1.00 (-14.29%) | 7 | Alan Suddick | R | |
| -1.00 (-0.99%) | 8.42 |