| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Toot Bump | 12 | +2.00 (16.67%) | |
| D | Harry Nielsen | 12 | +3.00 (25.00%) | |
| D | Urijah Faber | 10 | +3.00 (30.00%) | |
| D | Richard Keys | 10 | +2.00 (20.00%) | |
| D | Pee Wee Herman | 8 | +3.00 (37.50%) | |
| M | Ryan Kirkland | 10 | +2.00 (20.00%) |  |
| M | Brock Lesnar | 10 | -1.00 (-10.00%) | |
| M | Derek Llambias | 9 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| M | Mike Ashley | 8 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| S | Koko B Ware | 10 | -2.00 (-20.00%) | |
| S | Rodney Marsh | 6 | +1.00 (16.67%) | |
| R | Hatem Ben Arfa | 4 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| 9.08 | +13.00 (11.93%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -2.00 (-50.00%) | 4 | Johan Vea | K | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 10 | Toni Nextdoor | D | |
| -2.00 (-25.00%) | 8 | Nancy America | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 6 | Big Suze | D | |
| -1.00 (-25.00%) | 4 | Bernard Staunton | D | |
| -3.00 (-30.00%) | 10 | Football Related Fred | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 9 | Mark Corrigan | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 7 | Super Hans | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 6 | Reginald Wenton | M | |
| -1.00 (-20.00%) | 5 | Stefan Strauss | M | |
| -1.00 (-11.11%) | 9 | Fucking Hell Frankel | S | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 6 | Fine Ass Elena | R | |
| -10.00 (-11.90%) | 7.00 |