| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Toot Bump | 12 | +2.00 (16.67%) | |
| D | Harry Nielsen | 12 | +4.00 (33.33%) |  |
| D | Urijah Faber | 11 | +1.00 (9.09%) | |
| D | Pee Wee Herman | 9 | +2.00 (22.22%) | |
| M | Ryan Kirkland | 11 | +3.00 (27.27%) |  |
| M | Brock Lesnar | 10 | +1.00 (10.00%) | |
| M | Derek Llambias | 10 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| M | Mike Ashley | 9 | +5.00 (55.56%) | |
| M | Princess Jodz | 7 | +1.00 (14.29%) | |
| S | Koko B Ware | 11 | -4.00 (-36.36%) | |
| S | Rodney Marsh | 6 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| 9.82 | +15.00 (13.89%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -1.00 (-12.50%) | 8 | Alan Johnson | K | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 10 | Toni Nextdoor | D | |
| -1.00 (-12.50%) | 8 | Nancy America | D | |
| -2.00 (-28.57%) | 7 | Big Suze | D | |
| -2.00 (-40.00%) | 5 | Bernard Staunton | D | |
| -3.00 (-30.00%) | 10 | Mark Corrigan | M | |
| -4.00 (-40.00%) | 10 | Football Related Fred | M | |
| -2.00 (-25.00%) | 8 | Super Hans | M | |
| -1.00 (-14.29%) | 7 | Reginald Wenton | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 4 | Eron Roca | M | |
| -1.00 (-11.11%) | 9 | Fucking Hell Frankel | S | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 6 | Stefan Strauss | R | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 6 | Fine Ass Elena | R | |
| -17.00 (-17.35%) | 7.54 |