| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Cock Block | 8 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | Captain Fishfingers | 12 | +3.00 (25.00%) | |
| D | Branislav Ivanovic | 12 | +2.00 (16.67%) | |
| D | John Terry | 10 | +2.00 (20.00%) | |
| D | Fucking Skillz | 7 | +2.00 (28.57%) | |
| M | Frank Lampard | 12 | -3.00 (-25.00%) | |
| M | Cristiano Messi | 11 | +1.00 (9.09%) | |
| M | Miguel Afonso | 7 | -1.00 (-14.29%) | |
| M | Diego Maradona | 6 | +1.00 (16.67%) | |
| S | Robin van Ronaldo | 6 | +1.00 (16.67%) | |
| S | Lionel Pelé | 6 | -1.00 (-16.67%) | |
| 8.82 | +7.00 (7.22%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| +2.00 (33.33%) | 6 | Michael Anthony | K | |
| +4.00 (36.36%) | 11 | Peter McAlister | D | |
 |
+3.00 (27.27%) | 11 | Ian Jones | D |
| +1.00 (9.09%) | 11 | Simon Twinkles | D | |
| +2.00 (22.22%) | 9 | Robert Petherick | D | |
 |
+2.00 (16.67%) | 12 | Russell Toghill | M |
| -3.00 (-27.27%) | 11 | William Cole | M | |
|
+2.00 (20.00%) | 10 | Ricky Bourne | M |
|
+1.00 (11.11%) | 9 | James Mayne | M |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 9 | Glenn Boycott | M | |
| +1.00 (14.29%) | 7 | Keef Bourne | S | |
| +1.00 (9.09%) | 11 | Gary Brine | R | |
| +16.00 (13.68%) | 9.75 |