| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Jayjay Okotcha | 6 | +3.00 (50.00%) | |
| D | Tomás Goulart | 8 | +1.10 (13.75%) | |
| D | Will Wilding | 8 | +0.20 (2.50%) | |
| D | Captain Charisma | 6 | +2.10 (35.00%) | |
| M | Emile Orson | 8 | +1.60 (20.00%) | |
| M | Fabián Alejo | 8 | -0.40 (-5.00%) |  |
| M | Rodrigo Villa | 7 | +2.40 (34.29%) | |
| M | Jambags Andthe Gladrags | 7 | +2.40 (34.29%) | |
| M | The Wezmoister | 6 | +2.50 (41.67%) | |
| S | Alan Sugar | 8 | +1.60 (20.00%) |  |
| S | Crawford Crawf Crawford | 6 | +2.60 (43.33%) | |
| R | Sticky Shivy | 6 | +0.10 (1.67%) | |
| 7.00 | +19.20 (22.86%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -0.50 (-6.25%) | 8 | Allan McGregor | K | |
| +2.40 (34.29%) | 7 | Group Sex | D | |
| +1.60 (22.86%) | 7 | Branislav Ivanovic | D | |
| +0.30 (4.29%) | 7 | Gavino Del Neri | D | |
| +2.20 (36.67%) | 6 | John Terry | D | |
| -3.10 (-34.44%) | 9 | Jesus Christ | M | |
| -3.40 (-37.78%) | 9 | John Keogh | M | |
| +0.80 (13.33%) | 6 | Lucas Piazon | M | |
| -1.70 (-34.00%) | 5 | Nympho Maniac | M | |
| +0.10 (2.50%) | 4 | Jimmy McDonald | M | |
| +0.50 (10.00%) | 5 | Jesus Claus | S | |
| -0.80 (-1.10%) | 6.64 |