| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Denny Crane | 15 | -2.00 (-13.33%) | |
| D | John Cokehead Terry | 10 | -3.00 (-30.00%) | |
| D | Darran Kempson | 8 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | Serge Machine | 4 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | Curtis Woodhouse | 4 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| M | Charles Darwin | 12 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| M | James Brown | 10 | -3.00 (-30.00%) | |
| M | Gary McAllister | 5 | -1.00 (-20.00%) | |
| M | Peter Sweeney | 5 | -1.00 (-20.00%) | |
| M | Mannie Gallagher | 4 | -1.00 (-25.00%) | |
| S | Zico Scorez | 7 | +1.00 (14.29%) | |
| R | Jagger Moon | 10 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| R | Maverick Greed | 3 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| 7.46 | -10.00 (-10.31%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| +4.00 (40.00%) | 10 | Gearalt Delap | K | |
 |
+4.00 (36.36%) | 11 | Alan Partridge | D |
| +1.00 (9.09%) | 11 | Gerry Mac Mahon | D | |
| +3.00 (30.00%) | 10 | Will Ferrell | D | |
| +2.00 (22.22%) | 9 | Patrick Jane | D | |
| +2.00 (15.38%) | 13 | Jeremy Kyle | M | |
 |
+3.00 (25.00%) | 12 | Gerard Mcmahon Ii | M |
|
+3.00 (33.33%) | 9 | Geraldinho McMahoninho | M |
|
+1.00 (14.29%) | 7 | Gerardic McMahonovic | M |
| +2.00 (33.33%) | 6 | Gerardez McMahonez | M | |
|
+1.00 (9.09%) | 11 | Fernancow Torres | S |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 4 | Rowley Rainford | R | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 4 | Dominik Krahn | R | |
| +26.00 (22.22%) | 9.00 |