| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Gearalt Delap | 10 | +2.00 (20.00%) | |
| D | Alan Partridge | 11 | +3.00 (27.27%) | |
| D | Gerry Mac Mahon | 11 | +1.00 (9.09%) | |
| D | Patrick Jane | 9 | +1.00 (11.11%) | |
| M | Jeremy Kyle | 13 | +2.00 (15.38%) |   |
| M | Gerard Mcmahon Ii | 12 | +2.00 (16.67%) | |
| M | Geraldinho McMahoninho | 9 | +2.00 (22.22%) | |
| M | Gerardic McMahonovic | 7 | +1.00 (14.29%) | |
| M | Gerardez McMahonez | 6 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| S | Fernancow Torres | 11 | +1.00 (9.09%) | |
| S | Careful Steve | 10 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| R | Will Ferrell | 10 | +1.00 (10.00%) | |
| R | Charlie Winning Sheen | 8 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| R | Dominik Krahn | 4 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| 9.36 | +16.00 (12.21%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -4.00 (-26.67%) | 15 | Denny Crane | K | |
| -4.00 (-40.00%) | 10 | John Cokehead Terry | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 8 | Darran Kempson | D | |
| -1.00 (-25.00%) | 4 | Hercules Adams | D | |
| -1.00 (-25.00%) | 4 | Curtis Woodhouse | D | |
| -1.00 (-33.33%) | 3 | Maverick Greed | D | |
| -2.00 (-16.67%) | 12 | Charles Darwin | M | |
| -3.00 (-30.00%) | 10 | James Brown | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 5 | Paul Groves | M | |
| -1.00 (-20.00%) | 5 | Hendrix Morrison | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 7 | Zico Scorez | S | |
| -1.00 (-10.00%) | 10 | Jagger Moon | R | |
| -1.00 (-20.00%) | 5 | Peter Sweeney | R | |
| -1.00 (-25.00%) | 4 | Mannie Gallagher | R | |
| -20.00 (-19.61%) | 7.29 |