| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Sophie Chapman | 9 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | Jeff Heaney | 9 | +2.00 (22.22%) | |
| D | Toni Nextdoor | 8 | +2.00 (25.00%) | |
| D | Nancy America | 5 | +1.00 (20.00%) | |
| M | Mensa Gail | 8 | +2.00 (25.00%) |  |
| M | Football Related Fred | 8 | +2.00 (25.00%) | |
| M | Mark Corrigan | 8 | +2.00 (25.00%) | |
| M | Super Hans | 5 | +2.00 (40.00%) | |
| M | Stefan Strauss | 3 | -1.00 (-33.33%) | |
| S | Fucking Hell Frankel | 7 | +2.00 (28.57%) |  |
| S | It Dobby | 7 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| R | Alan Johnson | 6 | +1.00 (16.67%) | |
| R | Aryan Daryl | 4 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| R | Fine Ass Elena | 4 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| 6.50 | +15.00 (16.48%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -2.00 (-15.38%) | 13 | Pavel Srnicek | K | |
| +1.00 (11.11%) | 9 | Danny Simpson | D | |
|
-2.00 (-22.22%) | 9 | Ricardo Casalini | D |
| +1.00 (12.50%) | 8 | Fabricio Coloccini | D | |
| -2.00 (-25.00%) | 8 | James Perch | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 4 | Stephen Taylor | D | |
| -2.00 (-20.00%) | 10 | Gary Nufc Speed | M | |
| +2.00 (22.22%) | 9 | Jonas Gutierrez | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 9 | Dan Gosling | M | |
| +2.00 (25.00%) | 8 | Alan Shearer | S | |
| +2.00 (40.00%) | 5 | Papiss Demba Cissé | S | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 5 | Demba Ba | R | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 4 | Patrick Green | R | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 4 | Cheick Tiote | R | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 7.50 |