| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Cock Block | 5 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | Captain Fishfingers | 9 | +2.00 (22.22%) |  |
| D | Branislav Ivanovic | 9 | +1.00 (11.11%) | |
| D | Group Sex | 8 | +2.00 (25.00%) | |
| D | John Terry | 8 | +1.00 (12.50%) | |
| M | Frank Lampard | 10 | -1.00 (-10.00%) |  |
| M | Cristiano Messi | 9 | +1.00 (11.11%) | |
| M | Lucas Piazon | 8 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| M | Juan Mata | 4 | +1.00 (25.00%) | |
| S | Healthy Fastfood | 8 | +2.00 (25.00%) | |
| S | Daniel Sturridge | 4 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| R | Jesus Claus | 7 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| R | Gavino Del Neri | 6 | +1.00 (16.67%) | |
| R | Jimmy McDonald | 6 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| 7.21 | +10.00 (9.90%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -2.00 (-50.00%) | 4 | Ray Wood | K | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 8 | Cyril Knowles | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 7 | Keith Newton | D | |
| -1.00 (-16.67%) | 6 | John Robson | D | |
| -1.00 (-20.00%) | 5 | Trevor Hockey | D | |
| -3.00 (-30.00%) | 10 | Johnny Haynes | M | |
| -3.00 (-37.50%) | 8 | Billy Bremner | M | |
| +3.00 (42.86%) | 7 | Keith Weller | M | |
| -1.00 (-16.67%) | 6 | Laurie Cunningham | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 6 | Ulf Kihlberg | S | |
| -2.00 (-33.33%) | 6 | Alan Suddick | S | |
| +1.00 (14.29%) | 7 | Peter Osgood | R | |
| -9.00 (-11.25%) | 6.67 |