| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Cock Block | 5 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | Captain Fishfingers | 9 | +2.00 (22.22%) | |
| D | Branislav Ivanovic | 9 | +2.00 (22.22%) | |
| D | John Terry | 8 | +2.00 (25.00%) |  |
| D | Fucking Skillz | 4 | +2.00 (50.00%) | |
| M | Frank Lampard | 10 | 0.00 (0.00%) |  |
| M | Cristiano Messi | 9 | -1.00 (-11.11%) | |
| M | Lucas Piazon | 8 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| S | Healthy Fastfood | 8 | +1.00 (12.50%) | |
| S | Jesus Claus | 7 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| S | Daniel Sturridge | 4 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| R | Group Sex | 8 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| R | Juan Mata | 4 | +1.00 (25.00%) | |
| 7.15 | +9.00 (9.68%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -1.00 (-12.50%) | 8 | Daniel Rothe | K | |
| +3.00 (37.50%) | 8 | Christian Lell | D | |
| +1.00 (12.50%) | 8 | Marco Fink | D | |
| -3.00 (-50.00%) | 6 | Mario Seelisch | D | |
| -3.00 (-50.00%) | 6 | Firat Karaduman | D | |
| -1.00 (-11.11%) | 9 | Andreas Ottl | M | |
| +2.00 (25.00%) | 8 | Nico Paepke | M | |
| -1.00 (-12.50%) | 8 | Peter Niemeyer | M | |
| +2.00 (33.33%) | 6 | Norbert Lemcke | M | |
| +2.00 (28.57%) | 7 | Matthias Steinborn | S | |
| -4.00 (-66.67%) | 6 | Manfred Hagel | S | |
| -3.00 (-3.75%) | 7.27 |