| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Toot Bump | 10 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | Harry Nielsen | 10 | +1.00 (10.00%) | |
| D | Richard Keys | 9 | -1.00 (-11.11%) | |
| D | Urijah Faber | 8 | +1.00 (12.50%) | |
| D | Pee Wee Herman | 6 | +1.00 (16.67%) | |
| M | Brock Lesnar | 8 | 0.00 (0.00%) |  |
| M | Derek Llambias | 7 | -1.00 (-14.29%) | |
| M | Mike Ashley | 6 | -2.00 (-33.33%) |  |
| S | Koko B Ware | 9 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| S | George Bollocks | 8 | -1.00 (-12.50%) | |
| S | Rodney Marsh | 3 | +1.00 (33.33%) | |
| 7.64 | -1.00 (-1.19%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -2.00 (-33.33%) | 6 | Alan Johnson | K | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 9 | Jeff Heaney | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 5 | Nancy America | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 4 | Big Suze | D | |
| -1.00 (-25.00%) | 4 | Aryan Daryl | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 8 | Mensa Gail | M | |
| -3.00 (-37.50%) | 8 | Mark Corrigan | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 5 | Super Hans | M | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 3 | Stefan Strauss | M | |
| -1.00 (-14.29%) | 7 | It Dobby | S | |
| -1.00 (-20.00%) | 5 | Strapon Michelle | S | |
|
0.00 (0.00%) | 8 | Toni Nextdoor | R |
|
0.00 (0.00%) | 8 | Football Related Fred | R |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 7 | Fucking Hell Frankel | R | |
| -8.00 (-9.20%) | 6.21 |