| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Anderrs Lindeergaard | 8 | -1.00 (-12.50%) | |
| D | Cheating Jeff | 8 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | Tyler Hartman | 7 | -1.00 (-14.29%) | |
| D | Rob Giddins | 4 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| M | Brett Griffith | 8 | +1.00 (12.50%) | |
| M | Mike Matusow | 8 | -1.00 (-12.50%) | |
| M | Paul Scholes | 8 | -2.00 (-25.00%) | |
| M | Phil Hellmuth Jr | 6 | -2.00 (-33.33%) | |
| M | Yassin Khatib | 4 | -1.00 (-25.00%) | |
| S | Ole Gunnar Solskjaer | 8 | +1.00 (12.50%) | |
| S | Raisy Daisy Fahar | 8 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| R | Phil Laak | 8 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| R | Mark Hughes | 7 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| R | Ralph Sheppard | 6 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| 7.00 | -6.00 (-6.12%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 8 | Alan Johnson | K | |
 |
+2.00 (20.00%) | 10 | Toni Nextdoor | D |
| +2.00 (25.00%) | 8 | Nancy America | D | |
| +2.00 (28.57%) | 7 | Big Suze | D | |
| +1.00 (14.29%) | 7 | Aryan Daryl | D | |
 |
+3.00 (30.00%) | 10 | Football Related Fred | M |
| -3.00 (-30.00%) | 10 | Mark Corrigan | M | |
|
+2.00 (25.00%) | 8 | Super Hans | M |
| +1.00 (14.29%) | 7 | Reginald Wenton | M | |
|
-1.00 (-16.67%) | 6 | Lázaro Verde | M |
| +1.00 (16.67%) | 6 | Fine Ass Elena | S | |
|
+2.00 (22.22%) | 9 | Fucking Hell Frankel | R |
| +12.00 (12.50%) | 8.00 |