| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Sixty Nine | 11 | +1.10 (10.00%) | |
| D | Its Penis O’Clock | 11 | +0.40 (3.64%) | |
| D | Marian Dorohoi | 10 | +2.30 (23.00%) | |
| D | Alin-Andrei Boghean | 10 | +1.10 (11.00%) | |
| D | Lars Burgher | 8 | +0.20 (2.50%) | |
| M | Alexander Hassall | 10 | +2.20 (22.00%) |   |
| M | Cuthbert Heckingbottom | 10 | +1.80 (18.00%) | |
| M | Lewis Tomlin | 10 | +1.50 (15.00%) | |
| M | The Best Midfielder | 9 | +0.40 (4.44%) | |
| S | Giancarlo De Palma | 10 | -0.20 (-2.00%) | |
| S | Sexual Penis | 10 | -1.40 (-14.00%) | |
| R | Tito Torres | 6 | -0.80 (-13.33%) | |
| 9.58 | +8.60 (7.48%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| +2.80 (40.00%) | 7 | Gordon Banks | K | |
| -0.20 (-2.22%) | 9 | Leon Skistad | D | |
| -1.40 (-17.50%) | 8 | Nedum Onuoha | D | |
|
-2.40 (-30.00%) | 8 | Brian Lam | D |
| +0.30 (6.00%) | 5 | Ivan Cordoba | D | |
| -2.80 (-23.33%) | 12 | Andy Bates | M | |
| -0.50 (-5.00%) | 10 | Mikey Rawcliffe | M | |
| -0.60 (-6.00%) | 10 | Rafael van der Vaart | M | |
| -1.30 (-14.44%) | 9 | Eusébio Caeiro | M | |
| -1.70 (-34.00%) | 5 | Correia Coutinho | M | |
| -1.50 (-21.43%) | 7 | Jean Djemba-Djemba | S | |
| -9.30 (-10.33%) | 8.18 |