| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Serafim Beleza | 7 | +1.70 (24.29%) | |
| D | Leon Skistad | 9 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| D | Walter Samuel | 9 | -0.60 (-6.67%) | |
| D | Brian Lam | 8 | +0.90 (11.25%) | |
| D | Nedum Onuoha | 8 | -1.60 (-20.00%) | |
| M | Andy Bates | 12 | -2.00 (-16.67%) | |
| M | Mikey Rawcliffe | 10 | +0.40 (4.00%) |  |
| M | Rafael van der Vaart | 10 | -2.30 (-23.00%) | |
| M | Eusébio Caeiro | 9 | +0.30 (3.33%) | |
| S | Neo Rodwell | 10 | +2.90 (29.00%) |  |
| S | Diego Milito | 9 | +0.60 (6.67%) | |
| 9.18 | +0.30 (0.30%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| -0.90 (-8.18%) | 11 | Sixty Nine | K | |
| +0.90 (8.18%) | 11 | Its Penis O’Clock | D | |
| +0.30 (3.00%) | 10 | Alin-Andrei Boghean | D | |
| 0.00 (0.00%) | 10 | Marian Dorohoi | D | |
| +0.10 (1.67%) | 6 | Tito Torres | D | |
| +1.60 (16.00%) | 10 | Lewis Tomlin | M | |
|
+1.50 (15.00%) | 10 | Cuthbert Heckingbottom | M |
| +1.30 (13.00%) | 10 | Alexander Hassall | M | |
| +0.70 (7.78%) | 9 | The Best Midfielder | M | |
|
+1.00 (10.00%) | 10 | Sexual Penis | S |
| -0.40 (-4.00%) | 10 | Giancarlo De Palma | S | |
| +6.10 (5.70%) | 9.73 |