| Pos | Name | Skill | Performance | |
| K | Angus Aberdeen | 12 | -1.00 (-8.33%) | |
| D | Usain McBolt | 14 | +4.00 (28.57%) | |
| D | Rolland Sausage | 14 | +3.00 (21.43%) | |
| D | Soltan Sauce | 13 | +2.00 (15.38%) | |
| M | Ray Needay | 14 | +2.00 (14.29%) | |
| M | Murdo Renton | 12 | -1.00 (-8.33%) | |
| M | Paul Ingles | 11 | +3.00 (27.27%) | |
| M | Calin Neacsu | 10 | +1.00 (10.00%) | |
| M | Jordan Coppell | 9 | +1.00 (11.11%) | |
| S | Ally McCoist | 13 | +3.00 (23.08%) | |
| S | Taylor Shiver | 9 | +2.00 (22.22%) | |
| R | Georgi Kalitin | 10 | 0.00 (0.00%) | |
| 11.75 | +19.00 (13.48%) |
Possession / Performance
| Performance | Skill | Name | Pos | |
| +2.00 (16.67%) | 12 | William Shakespeare | K | |
| +1.00 (6.67%) | 15 | Lord Nelson | D | |
| +1.00 (6.67%) | 15 | Irving Brunette | D | |
| +2.00 (14.29%) | 14 | Scot Basher | D | |
| +1.00 (9.09%) | 11 | Marc Bolan | D | |
 |
+3.00 (21.43%) | 14 | Edward Longshanks | M |
| +3.00 (25.00%) | 12 | Craig Monkhouse | M | |
 |
+2.00 (16.67%) | 12 | John Cleese | M |
| +2.00 (16.67%) | 12 | Tom Huddlestone | M | |
| +1.00 (14.29%) | 7 | Christopher Marlowe | M | |
|
+4.00 (33.33%) | 12 | Gary Lineker | S |
| +22.00 (16.18%) | 12.36 |